I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
my poor anus
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
