I never want to see another naked old woman again.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
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Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
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You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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