Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
