Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
