You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
