some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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