It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
