sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I'm always down for nudity.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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