My room smells like vodka and shame
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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