Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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