in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
