and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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