You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
