It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
