He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
