is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
