girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize