yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
