There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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