So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize