Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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