Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
if only i could text you this smell
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Randomize
