I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
