I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
