Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
