it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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