walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize