she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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