Pappa wants mamma naked
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
