We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
