Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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