U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
