Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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