Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Randomize