you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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