Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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