so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
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fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
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Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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