Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Walk of Shame today included voting.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Dicks are not precious.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
