please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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