so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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