i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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