So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
