good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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