Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I touched a dick in church today
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
