We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize