hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Life is so much better after having sex.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
