My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
