I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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