I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
