he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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