Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
