Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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