Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
