Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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