Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
