Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
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After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
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he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus