i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
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You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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