I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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