quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
