he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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