There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
