She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I see more hoeing in ur future
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