she was so not down for the gang bang
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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