She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
