the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
