Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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