3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
So drunk its hurt
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
